Computers come in three sizes: big, small, and teeny-weeny. The big ones are called maxicomputers (or mainframes); the small ones are called minicomputers; and the teeny-weeny ones are called microcomputers.

For example, if somebody invents a new computer that understands the same commands as an old minicomputer, the new computer is called a "minicomputer" too, even if it costs less than $10,000 or more than $300,000. If it costs less than $10,000, it’s called a low-end minicomputer (and probably runs slowly); if it costs more than $300,000, it’s called a high-end minicomputer or supermini (and probably runs fast).

The dominant manufacturer of maxicomputers is IBM, which stands for International Business Machines Corporation. Too often, it’s often stood for "Incredibly Boring Machines", "Inertia Breeds Mediocrity", "International Big Mother", "Imperialism By Marketing", "Idolized By Management", "Incompetents Become Managers", "Intolerant of Beards & Mustaches", "It Baffles Me", "It’s a Big Mess", and "It’s Better Manually".

The first maxicomputers were invented in the 1940’s and sold in the 1950’s. Most of today’s maxicomputers are souped-up versions of the IBM 360, which IBM announced in 1964. IBM called it the "360" because it was the first IBM computer that could accomplish the "full circle" of computer applications, instead of just science applications or just business applications. In 1970, IBM invented a souped-up version (called the IBM 370) and then further improvements. IBM’s newest maxicomputers (such as the IBM 3090 and the IBM 4381) understand the same commands as the IBM 360 and 370 but obey the commands faster and understand extra commands.

IBM’s competitors In the maxicomputer marketplace, IBM outsells all its competitors combined.

During the 1960’s, maxicomputers were made by eight companies, called "IBM and the Seven Dwarfs". The dwarfs were Burroughs, Univac, NCR (which stood for National Cash Register), Control Data, Honeywell (whose original factory was next to a well), RCA (which stood for "Radio Corporation of America"), and General Electric.

IBM’s top engineer (Gene Amdahl) and Control Data’s top engineer (Seymour Cray) both quit and started their own computer companies, called Amdahl and Cray.

During the 1980’s and 1990’s, each company in the BUNCH disintegrated: Burroughs merged with Univac to form Unisys; NCR was bought by AT&T (but then split away from AT&T and became independent again); Control Data stopped building computers; and Honeywell sold its computer division to a French company, Bull.

All companies making maxicomputers also make minicomputers. For example, IBM’s newest minicomputer is the Advanced System 400 (AS/400). But the most popular minicomputers are made by other companies, who are minicomputer specialists.

The most popular minicomputers are made by Digital Equipment Corporation (DEC). Its first popular minicomputers were the PDP-8 and PDP-11. DEC replaced them by the Vax (a souped-up PDP-11), then by a further improvement, called the Alpha.

DEC is in Massachusetts. Other popular minicomputer specialists — also in Massachusetts — have been Data General (DG), Prime, and Wang, but Wang and Prime have stopped building computers.

The newest minicomputer specialists are Californian: Sun (whose fortunes rose quickly but then set), HP (which stands for Hewlett-Packard and "high-priced"), and Silicon Graphics Incorporated (SGI). Since computers from all three of those California companies are used mainly for producing graphics (beautiful artwork, Hollywood special effects, ads, magazines, and "artist renderings" of creations by architects & engineers), they’re called graphics/engineering workstations.

The most influential microcomputers are made by IBM and Apple.

Apple Apple’s first computer was called the Apple 1. Then came improved versions, called the Apple 2, the 2+, the 2e, the 2c, the 2c+, and the 2GS. Those improved versions are all called the Apple 2 family.

They’ve become obsolete, and Apple has stopped making them. Now Apple sells a much fancier, totally different kind of microcomputer, called the Macintosh (or Mac). Of all computers built today, the Mac’s the easiest to learn how to use.

IBM IBM’s early microcomputers (the IBM 5100 and the Datamaster 23) were slow and overpriced.

In 1981, IBM began selling a faster microcomputer, called the IBM Personal Computer (IBM PC). It became instantly popular because of its speed and amazingly low price.

Later, IBM developed a slightly improved version, called the IBM PC eXTended (IBM PC XT), and then a much faster version, called the IBM PC with Advanced Technology (IBM PC AT).

In 1987, IBM stopped making all those microcomputers and instead began making a new series of microcomputers, called the Personal System 2 (PS/2). The PS/2 computers run the same programs as the IBM PC but display prettier graphics and include "slicker" technology.

But PS/2 computers were overpriced. In 1990, IBM began selling PS/1 computers, which resemble PS/2 computers but cost less; in 1992, IBM began selling Valuepoint computers, which cost even less; in 1993, IBM began selling Ambra computers, which cost even less.

IBM has stopped selling all those microcomputers. Now IBM sells the IBM Aptiva (which is faster and has better graphics and sound), the IBM Thinkpad (which is smaller), and some humorless business models (the IBM PC 330, the IBM PC 330, the IBM PC 340, the IBM PC 350, and the IBM PC 700).

Instead of buying microcomputers from IBM, you can buy imitations, called compatibles or clones. Cynics call them clowns. They run the same programs as IBM’s microcomputers but cost even less.

The most popular IBM clones are manufactured by Compaq, Packard Bell, Hewlett-Packard, Dell, and Gateway. Of those five clone makers, Compaq charges the most, Gateway charges the least, and the others charge in-between.

IBM, Compaq, Packard Bell, and Hewlett-Packard sell mainly through stores. (For example, you can buy them at discount stores such as Staples, Office Depot, Office Max, Price/Costco, Sam’s Club, Circuit City, Comp USA, Micro Center, Fry’s Electronics, J&R Computer World, and Computer City.) Dell and Gateway computers are sold mainly by mail-order.

Computer City is owned by Tandy, which also owns a chain of stores called Radio Shack. Tandy used to manufacture computers but in 1993 sold its computer factories to AST. Now Radio Shack stores sell computers made by IBM instead. Radio Shack’s prices are usually higher than discount stores.

Apple, IBM, Compaq, Packard Bell, Hewlett-Packard, Dell, and Gateway are big manufacturers. To pay less, buy from smaller manufacturers instead, who advertise in computer magazines such as PC World and Computer Shopper. Of all the clone makers that are nationally known, the one giving the lowest prices while maintaining high quality and good service is Quantex (at 800-836-0566).

Wild ducks Instead of buying from the leaders (Apple and IBM) and their followers (who build clones), some folks have bought cheaper computers made by wild-duck companies who dared to be different. The most popular wild-duck companies were Commodore, Atari, and Tandy.

Commodore made wild-duck computers such as the Commodore 64, the Commodore 128, the Pet, the Vic, and the Amiga. (The Amiga was particularly good at handling animated color graphics and videotapes.) Atari made the Atari 800, the Atari XE, and the Atari ST. (The Atari ST was particularly good at handling music.) Tandy’s Radio Shack (TRS) made the TRS-80 and the Radio Shack Color Computer.

Who uses what? The typical business uses an IBM PC (or an XT, AT, PS/2, PS/1, Valuepoint, Ambra, Aptiva, or clone). So does the typical college and high school. Some businesses and colleges use Macs. The Macs are particularly popular among artists and musicians. Some video artists (who create cartoons and other graphics for TV) still use the Amiga, though most video artists have switched to Macs. Wild-duck computers appeal to hobbyists seeking cheap thrills.

On the average, computer prices drop 3% per month. That price decline’s been in effect ever since the 1940’s, and there’s no sign of it stopping.

Computers come in all shapes and sizes, but during the 1990’s a new standard arose. Now most computers being sold meet this standard — and cost about $2,000. A standard computer includes the following parts.…

The main part is a box called the system unit. If the system unit is tall, it’s called a tower; if the system unit is wide instead, it’s called a desktop unit.

One of those cables is called the power cord. It goes to the electrical outlet socket in the room’s wall (or to a power strip connected to that outlet). That cable feeds power to the computer.

One cable goes to the keyboard, which is a device that looks like a typewriter’s keyboard. To send a message to the computer, you type the message on the keyboard.

One cable goes to the monitor, which is a device that looks like a TV. When the computer wants to send a message to you, it displays the message on the monitor’s screen.

One cable goes to the mouse, which is a device about the size of a pack of cigarettes. As you slide the mouse across your desk, an arrow on the monitor’s screen moves. To make the computer manipulate an object on the monitor’s screen, slide the mouse until the screen’s arrow moves to that object; then press the mouse’s left button.

One cable goes to the printer, which prints on paper. Three kinds of printers are popular. The cheapest kind, called a dot-matrix impact printer, looks and acts like a typewriter without a keyboard: it bangs an inked ribbon against the paper. The next step up, in quality and price, is an ink-jet printer, which squirts ink at the paper instead of using a ribbon. The fanciest kind of printer, called a laser printer, resembles a Xerox photocopy machine: it deposits inked toner onto a rotating drum that rubs against the paper.

One cable goes to a pair of stereo speakers, so the computer can produce sounds and music and even sing!

The final two cables are called phone cords. One of them goes to your telephone; the other goes to the telephone jack in your room’s wall. By using those cables, the computer can make phone calls: it can phone other computers, chat with them, make love to them, and control your phone calls too!

The part that thinks is called the processor (because it processes info).

The part that remembers the computer’s thoughts is called the memory.

The part that communicates those thoughts is called the in/out system, because it passes info into and out of the computer.

I/O The computer part that communicates — the in/out system — is also called the input/output system (or I/O system). It consists of many I/O devices. The most popular I/O devices to buy are a keyboard, monitor, mouse, printer, and pair of stereo speakers. When you buy a computer, check whether the price includes all those I/O devices. If you get them all and they work well, you can join the many excited computerists who sing every day, "I/O, I/O, now off to work I go!"

Two of those devices — the keyboard and mouse — let you put info into the computer. They’re called the input devices. The other devices — the monitor, printer, and stereo speakers — let the computer spit out the answers and are called the output devices.

System unit If your computer is standard, cables run from all those I/O devices to the system unit’s rear. Inside the system unit lurks circuitry that helps those I/O devices work. The system unit also includes the processor (which thinks) and the memory (which remembers).

Instead of buying a standard computer (tower or desktop), you can buy a portable computer, which is easier to carry. To be called portable, the computer must weigh less than 32 pounds. That weight must include all parts except the printer. The computer must be small enough to be carried with one hand. (To make it easy to carry with one hand, the computer typically has a handle.)

To describe portable computers more precisely, 5 terms have been invented: luggable, laptop, notebook, subnotebook, and pocket. Careless beginners use those 5 terms interchangeably and call all portable computers "laptops" or "notebooks"; but careful experts define the terms as follows:

A luggable computer is about the size of a portable sewing machine or bulging briefcase. Carrying it is not pleasant, but you can lug it if you have a strong arm. The typical luggable computer weighs about 20 pounds, but any weight between 16 and 32 pounds is considered "luggable".

A laptop computer is smaller. It’s small enough to fit in your lap. The typical laptop computer weighs about 14 pounds, but any weight between 8 and 16 pounds is considered "laptop".

A notebook computer is even smaller. It’s about the size of a student’s 3-ring-binder notebook holding a ream of paper. It’s about 11 inches wide, 9 inches from front to back, and 2 inches thick. The typical notebook computer weighs about 7 pounds, but any weight between 4 and 8 pounds is considered "notebook".

A subnotebook computer is even smaller. The typical subnotebook computer weighs about 3½ pounds, but any weight between 2 and 4 pounds is considered "subnotebook".

A pocket computer is the smallest kind of portable computer. It’s small enough to fit in your pocket. It looks like a pocket calculator but includes keys you can press for typing all the letters of the alphabet. It weighs less than 2 pounds.

More about notebook computers The most popular notebook computers are made by Compaq and Toshiba. Other famous notebook computers are made by IBM and Apple. Companies such as Sager and EPS sell notebook computers that are better deals: they include more equipment per dollar. Most notebook computers cost between $1000 and $4000.

The typical notebook computer opens to reveal two parts. The bottom part (1 inch high) contains the main system-unit circuitry with a built-in keyboard, built-in pair of stereo speakers, built-in touchpad (a square pad you rub with your finger instead of using a mouse), and built-in battery. The top part unfolds to become a screen (made of the same materials used in screens of pocket calculators and digital wristwatches).

More about pocket computers A pocket computer is also called a hand-held computer or palmtop computer.

The typical pocket computer comes with programs that help you jot notes, store phone numbers, and keep track of date & times & to-do lists. That kind of pocket computer is called a personal digital assistant (PDA).

The fanciest pocket computer is the Newton, developed by a research team from Apple and Sharp. It comes with many nifty programs that make it a PDA. Instead of including a keyboard, it includes a tablet you write on with a pen; the computer tries to read your scribbled handwriting — but often makes mistakes!

A similar pocket computer is the Pilot, made by U.S. Robotics.

Pocket computers that are more traditional and use a keyboard are made by Sharp, Casio, Hewlett-Packard, Poquet, Atari, and Radio Shack. Most cost between $70 and $600. You can buy most of them from discount dealers such as S&W Computers & Electronics in New York (phone 800-874-1235 or 212-463-8330).

Pricey Unfortunately, portable computers (such as notebook computers) are all ridiculously expensive. Portable cuteness costs a lot! A portable computer costs about twice as much as a desktop computer having similar computational abilities. Buy a portable computer just if you insist on taking a computer with you when traveling — and you’re rich enough to pay for it.

A hidden computer hides inside another device. For example, a computer hides inside your digital watch. Other computers hide inside your pocket calculator, your Nintendo video-game machine, your microwave oven, and your car’s dashboard.

Since such a computer dedicates its entire life to performing just one task (such as "telling the time"), it’s also called a dedicated computer. Most such computers cost under $10.

Inside the system unit, you see several green plastic boards, called circuit boards (because they have electric circuits on them).

On each circuit board, you see many black rectangular objects, called chips. Each chip contains a miniature electronic circuit inside!

The biggest circuit board is called the motherboard. It’s about the size of sheet of paper (8½" ´ 11"). In a desktop unit, the motherboard lies flat on the bottom; in a tower, the motherboard is vertical, attached to the tower’s right edge.

On the motherboard, the biggest chip is the one that does most of the thinking. That chip is called the central processing unit (CPU). It’s also called the microprocessor. A standard computer uses a brand of microprocessor called a Pentium, manufactured by an intelligent California company called Intel.

(In older, bigger computers, the thinking is done by a gigantic collection of chips: instead of a single microprocessor chip, the thinking is done by a collection of processor chips working together. That collection is called the processor. The term microprocessor was invented by folks amazed that a processor could be made small enough to fit on a single chip.)

Expansion cards Besides the motherboard, the system unit contains smaller circuit boards (called expansion cards) that snap into slots in the motherboard.

One of those expansion cards is the video card. It manages the monitor and attaches to the cable that comes from the monitor.

Another expansion card is the sound card. It manages the pair of stereo speakers and attaches to the cable that comes from them.

Another expansion card is the multi-I/O card. It manages the printer and mouse and attaches to the cables that come from them.

Another expansion card is the modem (pronounced "mode em"). It manages telephone signals and attaches to the cables that come from the telephone and the phone jack.

Memory The three most popular kinds of memory are ROM chips, RAM chips, and disks.

ROM chips remember info permanently. Even if you turn off the computer’s power, ROM chips continue to remember what they’ve been told. The most important ROM chips are on the motherboard.

RAM chips remember info temporarily. They’re electronic scratchpads that the CPU uses to store temporary reminders. For example, they remember what problem the computer’s working on at the moment. They get erased when you switch to a different computer problem or turn the computer off.

In a new computer, the RAM chips are instead on tiny expansion cards, which snap into tiny slots on the motherboard: each tiny RAM cards is called a single in-line memory module (SIMM) and holds 3, 8, or 9 RAM chips.

Disks work slower than ROM chips and RAM chips but can store more info. Like ROM chips, disks can remember info permanently: unplugging the computer does not erase the disks. To use a disk, you must put it into a disk drive, which reads what’s on the disk. In a standard computer, the system unit includes 3 disk drives, to handle all 3 kinds of disks:

A CD-ROM disk looks like a Compact Disk (CD) that music comes on, but a CD-ROM disk contain computer data instead of music. The info on a CD-ROM disk is permanent and cannot be changed or edited.

The typical hard disk hides in the computer’s hard-disk drive and never comes out. Though info can stay on a hard disk permanently, you can edit that info if you wish.

A floppy disk comes encased is a sturdy square jacket, which is typically 3½ inches on each side (though older disks come in 5¼-inch jackets instead). You can insert the floppy disk, including its jacket, into the floppy-disk drive. You can also remove the floppy disk (including its jacket) from the drive. Though info can stay on a floppy disk permanently, you can edit the info if you wish.

Power supply The power cord comes from your office’s wall and goes into the back of the system unit. Look inside the system unit, at the back wall, where the power cord goes in. There you see, inside the system unit, a big metal box, called the power supply.

The power supply is an AC/DC transformer: it converts the alternating current (coming from your office’s wall) to the direct current that your computer requires.

Computer equipment is called hardware because it’s built from wires, screws, and other parts you can buy in hardware & electronics stores. Hardware includes the CPU, memory, I/O, cables, and power supply.

The info that the computer deals with is called software, because you can’t feel it: it flows through the computer’s circuits as coded pulses of electricity.

The computer can handle two kinds of software: data (lists of names, addresses, numbers, words, and facts) and programs (lists of instructions that tell the computer what to do).

If you feed the computer wrong software — wrong facts or wrong instructions — the computer will print wrong answers. Wrong stuff is called garbage. If you feed the computer some garbage, the computer spits out garbage answers.

So if a computer prints wrong answers, the computer might not be broken; it might just have been fed wrong data or programs. If you think the computer’s broken and tell a technician to fix it, the technician might reply, "Hey, the computer’s fine! Don’t blame the computer! It’s your fault for feeding it garbage! If you put garbage in, you get garbage out!" That’s called the principle of garbage in, garbage out (which is abbreviated GIGO, pronounced "guy go"). The technician will say, "it’s just a case of GIGO".

The person sitting at the computer is called the liveware, operator, user, or meathead — because the person’s head is made of meat instead of wires. The term meathead was first shouted publicly by that TV character from New York: Archie Bunker. The term liveware was invented in 1982 by Garry Trudeau, creator of the Doonesbury cartoons.

For a complete computer system, you need all three wares: the hardware (equipment), software (info), and liveware (people).

As a computer pusher, you can make lots of dough. But to be a successful pusher, you must do it in style: instead of calling yourself a "pusher", call yourself a computer consultant. Yes, a computer consultant is a person who gives computer advice to other people — and pushes them into buying more computers!

My marriage I’m married to a computer. Marrying a computer is much groovier than marrying a person. For one thing, computers are good at "getting it on": they make you feel all electric and tingly. And computers never argue: they’re always ready to "do it" (except when they "have a headache").

Your marriage The computer will fascinate you. It’ll seduce you to spend more and more time with it. You’ll fall in love with it.

To prevent such a marital problem, coax your spouse to play a video game on the computer. Your spouse will get hooked on the game, become as addicted to the computer as you, enjoy blabbing about the computer with you, and even help you spend money on your habit. Sociologists call that technological progress.

Why buy a computer? The average American has three goals: to make money, have fun, and "become a better person". Making money is called business; having fun is called pleasure; and becoming a better person is called personal development. The computer will help you meet all three goals: it’ll improve your business, increase your pleasure, and help you grow into a better person.

Though admitting the computer does not fulfill any real need in the home, he lusts to buy a computer anyway — for the thrill of it — and looks for an excuse to justify the cost. The computer’s a solution looking for a problem.

If you buy a computer, the idea of "using the computer to run your business" and "using the computer to store recipes" are just excuses. Here are the REAL reasons why people buy computers.…

Teenager: "Computers are a blast: sci-fi come true! Programming computers is the next best thing to becoming an astronaut!"

Parent: "Computers are taking over! My kids will have to master them to survive. If I buy my kids a computer, they’ll explore it (instead of sex & drugs), get curious about how it’s programmed, become programmers, get straight A’s in school, become computer consultants, make lots of dough, and share their wealth with me, so I can brag about them to my neighbors."

Grandparent: "I want to be part of the 20th century. The whole world’s becoming computerized, and I don’t want my grandkids to think I’m ‘out of it.’ I want to share in this new excitement."

Kindergartner: "Grandma, please buy me a computer for my birthday! I really want one! And if you don’t buy it, they say I’ll never go to Harvard."

Social climber: "Damn! Now that big cars and cell phones are passé, the computer’s the only status symbol left. I’m sick of being intimidated by neighbors and bosses spouting computer jargon. I’m gonna learn that mumbo-jumbo myself so I can get back at those pompous asses and intimidate them!"

Worried worker: "My company is computerizing. If I don’t master computers, they might master me and take away my job! If I learn enough about them, I can keep my job, get a promotion, then quit and become a rich computer consultant!"

Adventurer: "The computer’s a challenge. If I can master it, I know I’m not as stupid as people say!"

Middle-aged: "My life’s become boring. I need an exciting new hobby — a computer! It’s fun, could help my business, and even help me start a new business on the side. And I can keep fiddling with that cute toy even after my company retires me."

Doctor: "Playing with the computer’s anatomy is like playing God. Besides, with a computer I could get my patients to pay their bills!"

English teacher: "My students get so hooked on computer games! I’m gonna find out why, then use computers to channel the kids’ excitement toward a higher good: poetry!"

Wanting what’s due: "I’ve worked hard all my life; I deserve a computer! I’m gonna get my hands on that mean machine, force it to obey all my commands, and make it my personal slave."

Subversive: "If Big Brother has Big Blue watching me, then by gosh I’ll turn my computer into Big Mama and scramble their waves!"

Repairs Since a complete computer system includes so many parts (CPU, RAM, keyboard, disk drives, printer, software, etc.), at least one of them won’t work properly, and you’ll need to fix it. Since the manufacturer or store will provide free repairs during the first year, you’ll lose nothing but your temper.

Manuals You won’t completely understand the manuals for your hardware and software, so you’ll ask your friends and me for help. You can also try getting help from the manufacturers and dealers; but if your question’s long-winded, their answers will be curt.

Programs If you try writing your own programs, you’ll discover Murphy’s law: no matter how long you think a program will take to write, it will take you longer. If you’re wiser and try to buy a finished program from somebody else, you’ll find the program works worse than advertised, its manual is missing or unintelligible, and you’ll need to modify the program to meet your personal needs.

Data entry If you figure out how to use the program, your next torture is to type the data you want the program to process. The typing is sheer drudgery, but you must do it.

Worthwhile? Those headaches are just the beginning of what can become an extended nightmare. Buying a computer starts by being exciting but quickly becomes nerve-racking.

Promises Salespeople wanting you to buy fancy hardware or software say "it will be great", but computer stuff never turns out as good as promised.

How to get periodicals Visit your local computer stores, bookstores, and newspaper stands, and buy a copy of each newspaper and magazine that interests you.

If you live near Boston, you’ll find many computer magazines in the kiosks in the middle of Harvard Square (at Out of Town News and Nini’s Corner) and at a chain of convenience stores called White Hen Pantry. Two chains of computer stores (Comp USA and Micro Center) sell computer magazines at discounted prices.

How to read reviews Many computer periodicals review the newest hardware and software. Don’t take the reviews too seriously: the typical review is written by just one person and reflects just that individual’s opinion.

Giant conglomerates Most computer magazines and newspapers are published by two giant conglomerates: Ziff-Davis and IDG.

Ziff-Davis is a gigantic publisher in Manhattan. By the 1970’s Ziff-Davis was publishing magazines about many hobbies. In 1982, when computers became a popular hobby, Ziff-Davis bought several computer-magazine publishers, so it’s become a conglomerate of hobby-magazine and computer-magazine publishers. Ziff-Davis is usually called ZD or just Ziff. It’s based in Manhattan. Recently, it’s been bought by a Japanese company called Softbank.

IDG (based in Framingham, Massachusetts) began publishing Computerworld in 1967. Later it bought up and published many other computer periodicals around the world. Now IDG publishes 270 computer periodicals in 75 countries.

Ziff and IDG have declared war on each other. For example, IDG refuses to publish articles by columnists who submit articles to Ziff. Each computer columnist must choose between either being a Ziffer or an IDG’er.

Mostly monthly Most computer magazines are published monthly and let you buy individual issues (for under $5) or an annual subscription (for about $25).

General computer magazines Here are the 9 best computer magazines for the general public:

At the top of the list is Computer Shopper. It’s more than twice as big as any other computer magazine.

PC World is the best-balanced magazine. It’s smaller than Computer Shopper and more carefully edited.

PC Magazine covers just a few topics in each issue; but when PC Magazine covers a topic, it usually covers the topic more thoroughly than any other magazine. For example, a PC Magazine article about printers will compare more printers than any other magazine.

For example, Robin Raskin left PC Magazine and is now editor-in-chief of the best new magazine, Family PC.

Of all the magazines, the easiest to read is Smart Computing.

Like a newspaper, Computer Currents is printed on extra-wide pages of newsprint paper. At first glance, it looks like a thin version of Computer Shopper. Like Computer Shopper, its main importance is its ads.

Like Family Computing, Home PC explains what hardware and software to buy for your home and is easy to read.

Back in the old days, when the only major computer magazines were PC Magazine and PC World, Ziff-Davis started PC Computing, which is easier to read. Afterwards, PC Novice was invented, which is even easier but too short. PC Computing contains more advice about what to buy. Even if you read just one issue of PC Computing, you’ll get good advice about what to buy, since each issue includes an updated list of all the best hardware and software. (PC World has a smaller list covering just some kinds of hardware and no software.)

Though Windows Magazine is sometimes ho-hum, it often includes a surprising article or special issue that’s absolutely superb, in-depth, and blows all the other magazines away! If a Pulitzer prize were awarded for each top-notch computer article, Windows Magazine would win often. If you subscribe for a year, you’ll find enough joys in Windows Magazine to be thankful.

Internet magazines Your computer can phone an international computer network, called the Internet. Here are the 3 best magazines about the Internet:

Yahoo Internet Life is the most fun. Net Guide covers topics that are more serious. The Net costs the most because each issue includes a CD full of programs.

Mac magazines Here are the best magazines about Apple’s Mac computers:

The two serious Mac magazines used to be IDG’s Macworld and Ziff’s Mac User, but in 1997 those magazines merged into a combo called Macworld, published by a company called Mac Publishing, which is owned by IDG and Ziff working together. Mac Addict, which is wackier, costs more because it comes with a CD.

Computer newspapers Here are the 4 best newspapers about computers:

Each is published weekly (except the week after Christmas and Mac Week’s extra holidays). PC Week, the most pleasant, covers the IBM PC and clones. Infoworld covers the IBM PC, clones, and Macs. Computerworld covers all computers (maxicomputers, minicomputers, and microcomputers). Mac Week covers just Macs.

That method of distribution — "specialists get it free, idiots pay through the nose" — is called controlled circulation. It assures advertisers that the readers are either influential or rich. Alas, it widens the gap between the "haves" and the "have-nots": if you’re a low-income novice, this policy is guaranteed to "keep you in your place", unless you’re lucky enough to find those magazines in your local library.

Examine the back page In many computer magazines and newspapers, the most fascinating writing occurs on the back page.

For example, the best humorists are Lincoln Spector (on the back page of Computer Currents) and Rich Tennant (whose cartoons grace the back page of Computer Currents and PC Magazine). The best rumor-mongerer is Spencer the Cat (on the back page of PC Week).

Daily newspapers For today’s news about computers, read the business section of your town’s daily newspaper, or read national newspapers such as The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and The New York Times. The computer articles in The Wall Street Journal are excellent — especially Walter Mossberg’s editorial (on the first page of the Marketplace section on Thursdays).

Every Tuesday, the Science section of The New York Times contains ads from New York’s most aggressive discount dealers. They make bargain hunters drool, but beware of dealers who are shady!

The typical product comes in a cardboard box. On the back of the box (or on some other side), you’ll usually see a list of the system requirements. That’s a list of what hardware and software you must already own to make that product work with your computer.

Use your credit card Pay by credit card rather than a check. If you pay by credit card and have an unresolved complaint about what you bought, Federal laws say that the credit-card company can’t bill you! Moreover, if the mail-order company takes your money, spends it, and then goes bankrupt before shipping your goods, the credit-card company gets stuck, not you!

What’s missing? When buying computer equipment, find out what the advertised price does not include.

Read the fine print When reading an ad, make sure you read the fine print at the bottom of the ad. It contains many disclaimers, which admit that the deal you’ll be getting isn’t quite as good as the rest of the ad implies.

"Monitor optional" means this price does not include a monitor. The monitor costs extra, even though the ad shows a photo of a computer with a monitor.

"Monitor/keyboard optional" means this price doesn’t include a monitor and doesn’t even include a keyboard. The monitor and keyboard cost extra.

"Upgrade price" means you get this price just if you already own an older version of this stuff.

"With system purchase" means you get this price just if you’re stupid enough to also buy our overpriced full computer system at the same time.

"Reflects cash discount" means you get this price just if you’re stupid enough to pay cash instead of using a credit card. (By paying cash, you can’t complain to a credit-card company if we rip you off.) If you use a credit card, we’ll charge you about 3% above the advertised price.

"Includes rebate" means you must pay us more, then request a rebate from the manufacturer. (You’ll probably never get that rebate, since you’ll forget to ask us for the rebate form, or you’ll forget to mail the rebate form to the manufacturer, or the rebate form will have already expired, or you’ll lose the receipt or code number you must mail with the rebate form to get the rebate.)

"Manufacturer’s warranty" means that if the stuff breaks, don’t ask us for help. Phone the original manufacturer instead (who will probably ignore you).

"Factory serviced" means another customer bought this stuff, didn’t like it, and returned it to the factory, which examined it and thinks it’s good enough to resell (after jiggling it a bit), so now we’re sticking you with this lemon.

"For in-stock items" means that although we said we’d ship immediately, we won’t if you order stuff that’s not yet in our warehouse.

"25% restocking fee" means that if you return this stuff, we won’t give you your money back. Instead, we’ll keep 25% of your money (as a restocking fee) and return just 75% to you.

CDW versus PC Connection Back in the 1980’s, two big mail-order dealers set the tone for the rest of the discount industry. Those dealers were Telemart and PC Connection.

When Telemart went bankrupt in 1993, its assets were sold to Computer Discount Warehouse (CDW), which has continued Telemart’s tradition of low prices and wide selection. Phone CDW in Illinois at 800-500-4CDW (for Mac goodies) or 800-454-4CDW (for IBM-compatible goodies).

PC Connection has the best reputation for service because it processes orders fast, charges little for shipping, handles hassle orders promptly and generously, and gives technical help on a toll-free 800 number. It’s in the tiny town of Marlow, New Hampshire (population 566, with a main street consisting mainly of a gas station). It began in a barn, then expanded to fill the inn across the street. Drop in anytime, enjoy the small-town friendliness, and wave to the 150 employees. Adventurers who’ve trekked to Marlow rave that it’s quaint, friendly, and beautiful.

The IBM division advertises in PC World (phone 800-800-0003 or 603-446-0003) and PC Magazine (phone 800-800-0004 or 603-446-0004). The Mac division calls itself Mac Connection in Macworld (phone 800-800-3333 or 603-446-3333) and Mac User (phone 800-800-4444 or 603-446-4444). You can use the 800 numbers even if you’re in Alaska, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands, and Canada.

Each division sells mostly software but also some hardware (printers, disk drives, monitors, and chips to add to your computer). If you don’t have a computer yet, the IBM division will sell you a Compaq; the Mac division will tell you to buy a Mac from your local Apple dealer (since Apple prohibits mail-order dealers from selling Macs).

Big competitors The competitor that PC Connection fears the most is New Jersey’s Micro Warehouse, which offers a greater variety of hardware and software. But Micro Warehouse gives less technical help and sometimes has delays in shipping.

Like PC Connection, Micro Warehouse has two divisions. For the IBM division, phone 800-367-7080 or 908-905-5245. For the Mac division (which is called Mac Warehouse), phone 800-255-6227 or 908-367-0440.

Another competitor is Washington State’s Multiple Zones. Like Micro Warehouse, it offers low prices on IBM and Mac goodies. Its IBM division, PC Zone, is at 800-258-2088. The Mac division, Mac Zone, is at 800-248-0800. For international calls to either division, phone 206-883-3088.

Cheap giants The biggest discounters offering IBM-compatible hardware cheap are Insight and USA Flex. They usually charge less than PC Connection, Micro Warehouse, and PC Zone. Insight also advertises software; USA Flex does not. Insight offers the greatest variety of disk drives; USA Flex offers a greater variety of printers and monitors.

Discounts from retail stores If you need hardware or software fast and can’t wait for mail-order dealers to ship, go to the local computer stores that advertise in the business section of your local newspaper.

To encourage a store to give you a discount, mention low prices from competitors and agree to buy many items at once. Say that if you don’t get a discount, you’ll shop elsewhere. Many stores do price-matching: they’ll match the price of any other local store, though not the prices of mail-order dealers. Some stores let salespeople give 10% discounts, which are subtracted from the salesperson’s commission.

Superstores For low prices, visit a chain of huge superstores called Comp USA. It’s based in Dallas but has spread to 75 other cities in 26 states. (For example, its New York City store is at 420 5^th Ave., 212-764-6224.) To find the Comp USA store nearest you, phone 800-Comp-USA. Phone day or night, 24 hours, and use that number to order computer goodies or a free catalog.

For software and Hewlett-Packard printers, Comp USA charges less than most other stores and mail-order dealers. For other printers and accessories, Comp USA’s prices aren’t as aggressive: you’ll pay less at a competing superstore chain called Staples (which sells computers and also general office supplies). But Comp USA offers a greater variety of computer products than Staples, and Comp USA’s salespeople are more knowledgeable and helpful.

Unfortunately, Comp USA handles repairs slowly (you must wait about a week), and Comp USA’s prices for most hardware are slightly above other discounters. To get an IBM clone cheaply, buy elsewhere. To buy a Mac, try Staples, which has a very limited selection of Macs but great prices!

The other big chain of computer superstores is Computer City, secretly owned by Tandy. Like Comp USA, Computer City sells IBM clones and Macs, at prices far below Tandy’s Radio Shack stores.

Another computer-superstore chain is Micro Center, with just 8 superstores so far (in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Georgia, and Southern California).

In California’s Silicon Valley, visit a chain of superstores called Fry’s Electronics, which has been a local favorite for many years. In New York City, visit a superstore called J&R Computer World, which is near Wall Street (15 Park Row, New York City NY 10038, 800-221-8180 or 212-238-9000).

Bagel boys Three discount dealers in New York City are called the bagel boys because most of their employees resemble me: Jewish men who enjoy eating bagels. (Yum!) Many of their employees are Hassidic Jews, an ultra-traditional sect who wear black suits, black coats, black hats, and beards. For the Jewish Sabbath, they close on Friday afternoon, stay shut on Saturday, and reopen on Sunday.

Those dealers sold cameras and other photography equipment, then started selling computer hardware also, plus a little software. They offer especially low prices on printers, monitors, modems, and notebook computers.

Egghead Discount Software is a chain of stores giving discounts on software for the IBM PC and Mac. Egghead’s prices are nearly as low as Comp USA’s, and Egghead often runs special sales that drive prices even lower. To find the Egghead store nearest you, dial Egghead’s headquarters in Washington State at 800-EGGHEAD.

Surplus Software A discount dealer called Surplus Software sells old versions of excellent IBM-compatible software at very low prices: often $19.95! It also sells new versions cheaper than most other mail-order dealers. Phone Surplus Software in Oregon at 800-753-7877 or 503-386-1375.

Computer shows Another way to find low prices is at a computer show. The lowest prices are at small shows called flea markets or swap meets. Many vendors at shows offer discounts, especially during the show’s last three hours. When you buy at a show, jot down the vendor’s name, address, and phone number, in case the goods don’t work.

Used computers Instead of buying a new computer, you can sometimes save money by getting a used one.

The oldest source of used microcomputers is The Boston Computer Exchange (phone 800-262-6399 or 617-542-4414).

Another used-computer broker is Atlanta’s American Computer Exchange (800-786-0717 or 404-250-0050).

New computers cheap On page 72, I’ll explain the best way to buy a complete new IBM clone cheaply.